Excited, Scared, Overwhelmed, Blessed

Friday, April 16, 2010

Wow! It has been a long time since I posted. There's really no excuse. Maybe it's because I feel there's nothing too exciting to report to the lovely blogging world. Let me start off by saying that this semester has been one of the best. And yes it has mostly to do with the fact that I have barely any classes and homework to work on. God planned out my school schedule perfectly, because I know I didn't expect my last semester of college to be cake :). Another reason I KNOW God was in this setup of my schedule is because He put me into this amazing internship at my church I attend. I think I have mentioned before that for my worship degree I am required to be involved in some form of worship ministry at a church, whether it's planning, leading, or just helping out for the worship program. God's timing is perfect because it turns out my church needed an intern for their worship program in children's ministries. How amazing is that?? I love kids, I work with kids for my other job, and I get to sing and act goofy in front of kids while leading them in a time of worship with our Lord and Savior! Again...AMAZING! And all this counts for 6 units for school! So you can probably see now how my semester is cake...half of it is just a blast :).

Now coming to the exciting reality of graduation. Trust me, it's exciting to think about being all done with school. But, I have been in constant prayer about what to do afterward, where to go?
God has been so good to put people in my life to "push" me towards a decision that God wanted me to make in the first place. I am very influenced by the people I love, and their input is extremely important to me. To some people that may seem irresponsible, or maybe just not a good idea. But it's who I am. The reason why I think this decision is so hard is because it is based off of no one else, but myself. Yes, it will affect some people's lives in a minor way, but primarily it will only affect me. And this reality has been the hardest to accept. With a good year of praying about it, long prayer sessions, and a lot of "heart-tugging" from the Holy Spirit, I've made the decision to go back home to Turlock after I graduate. God hasn't given me this big "sign" or reason to go home except for the mere fact and feeling that I miss home, I love home, I have amazing friends there, and my family's support. Who could ask for a better reason right? Pride, is what holds me back from sharing as to why I want to go home, or even telling people generally. I don't have a job up there, I AM going to live back home with my parents, and it's going to be hard to adjust. I know all of these things. What I've learned through many amazing conversations, prayer times, and crying, is that God may not have the reason for me going home clear just yet. That is what I pray for everyday though, for clarity. "Lord please make it abundantly clear if You want me to go home or not." And now I've come to the point in my prayer time where I say,"Lord, I want to go home, if you don't want me there, show me." Which is an extemely hard prayer to pray, because I DO want to go home :). I know this is alot to say in one post, but it's constantly on my heart, and I wanted to share it with everyone. God has not made it clear as to why He's put it on my heart to go back home, but I'll keep praying that He shows me, and I know He will.

Turlock bound in about a month, and I am feeling excited, scared, overwhelmed, and extremely blessed that I can still call it Home.

Blessings to you all*


*This Christmas*

Thursday, December 17, 2009

*Song of the Day* Any Christmas song :) (I know, I'm not creative right now)

I am finally done with finals and so excited to enjoy the Christmas season, and even more excited to go home to Turlock for a couple of weeks.
This morning after my last final I went straight to get all of my Christmas shopping done, and I did it!! In one full SWOOP! Which is exactly how I like to shop. I'm not a lingerer. When shopping, I have to know what I'm getting...get in, and get out :).
The Lord has blessed me with a pretty good pay check in order to get gifts for the people I love.

The other night, as I was avoiding studying for my last final....I enjoyed a classic Christmas movie, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. I'm not gonna lie, I usually am up for the original Home Alone, but I was so excited to watch this because just last year with my family WE were in New York City for Christmas and it was so beautiful, exciting, and memorable. We don't often take big vacations except about every 5 years, and last year was probably our last family vacation before there might be additions to the family (brother might be married in a few years, so exciting).
So I wanted to dedicate this blog to showing how fun our trip to NYC was for Christmas last year. We also went to Washington D.C. It was amazing!

The streets of New York

Shopping on Brother's birthday in Time Square

Rockefeller Center

Family Photo on top of the Empire State Building

*It was a great, memorable Christmas with my amazing family*


Friday Mornings

Friday, December 4, 2009

*Song of the Day* "I'll Be Home for Christmas"- Michael Buble, just because I LOVE him!

I just wanted to post something really quick about how thankful I am for Friday mornings. This whole semester Friday mornings have been the one morning (besides Saturdays) where I can sleep in, and enjoy my morning. I have an eventual afternoon shift at work, but I can still wake up slowly, enjoy a cup of coffee, slowly, and just relax before work....slowly.

Another thing that makes my Friday morning so enjoyable is the switch-on fireplace we have in our apartment. Not going to lie, it's so nice that we have a fireplace where WE don't have to start the fire. I mean come on, 4 girls..totally incapable of starting a great fire in the fireplace. Trust me, we've tried :)

So right now, I am sitting next to my fireplace, watching The View, in my PJs, with a cup of coffee. Thank you Lord, for Friday mornings*


I'm Back!

Wow! It's been so long since I've posted a blog. But I guess I've been pretty busy.

School kept me busy for a while because of certain projects and papers due. And now, almost all of my end-of-the-semester assignments are due Thursday December 10 (last day of classes). So I have my work cut out for me until the end of the semester. No worries, the end is almost here and I'm so excited for Christmas :).

Also the Thanksgiving holiday kept me pretty busy. I had a great long weekend at home in Turlock. I got to see great friends, and my family in Watsonville and San Jose.

*My sister Maddie, me, and my cousin Lindsay*

*All the grandkids on mom's side, with Grandpa Glenn*
(boyfriends, and girlfriends included)

While the holiday was a great way to relax, I have lots to do to end my last Fall semester well.


Something to Look Forward to

Monday, November 9, 2009

*Song(s) of the Day*- Pandora Radio: Type in "Piano", and the greatest contemporary piano music will play. It'll put you in a good mood, or put you to sleep (in a good way). I love listening to it when I'm studying or doing homework.

Just wanted to write a quick post. One, to make up for the slightly depressing posts I've put up recently, and Two, to say that I'm really excited about this weekend, because my momma is coming to visit!
She is flying down just to hang out, and I'm really excited to see her and just spend time with only her. She hasn't seen my apartment yet, and she's also going to come to my Jesus' Life and Ministry class on Thursday. Because one, I'm a dork who brings her mom to class, and two, it's an AWESOME class :)
Just wanted to share my excitement about the end of my week, and how it's motivating me to get a lot of work done. God has definitely given me a push to get things done :)



I am really struggling with something. And honestly want feedback. I feel that I was hurt by someone in the past couple of months. And haven't talked to them about it. I've tried to just get over it, and move on. I pray about it constantly, but sometimes I continue to ask God "why?" I hate this. It seems to be hindering my relationship with God, and I don't know whether to call this person up and tell them how I've been feeling, and demand an explanation. Or to just continue to rest in it, and pray that I'll just get over it. I'm not bitter towards God, but I'm still hurt. I know it's normal, but I'm getting sick of it. Sometimes I get so angry about it though. Please help!!


A Memory...

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Boy it's been all this time
And I can't get you off my mind
And nobody knows it, but me
I stare at your photograph
Still sleep in the shirt you left
And nobody knows it but me

Everyday I wipe my tears away
So many nights I've prayed for you to say...

I should have been chasing you
I should have been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me
I should have said all the things
That I kept inside of me
Then maybe I could have made you believe
That what we had, was all we'd ever need