Excited, Scared, Overwhelmed, Blessed
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wow! It has been a long time since I posted. There's really no excuse. Maybe it's because I feel there's nothing too exciting to report to the lovely blogging world. Let me start off by saying that this semester has been one of the best. And yes it has mostly to do with the fact that I have barely any classes and homework to work on. God planned out my school schedule perfectly, because I know I didn't expect my last semester of college to be cake :). Another reason I KNOW God was in this setup of my schedule is because He put me into this amazing internship at my church I attend. I think I have mentioned before that for my worship degree I am required to be involved in some form of worship ministry at a church, whether it's planning, leading, or just helping out for the worship program. God's timing is perfect because it turns out my church needed an intern for their worship program in children's ministries. How amazing is that?? I love kids, I work with kids for my other job, and I get to sing and act goofy in front of kids while leading them in a time of worship with our Lord and Savior! Again...AMAZING! And all this counts for 6 units for school! So you can probably see now how my semester is cake...half of it is just a blast :).
Now coming to the exciting reality of graduation. Trust me, it's exciting to think about being all done with school. But, I have been in constant prayer about what to do afterward, where to go?
God has been so good to put people in my life to "push" me towards a decision that God wanted me to make in the first place. I am very influenced by the people I love, and their input is extremely important to me. To some people that may seem irresponsible, or maybe just not a good idea. But it's who I am. The reason why I think this decision is so hard is because it is based off of no one else, but myself. Yes, it will affect some people's lives in a minor way, but primarily it will only affect me. And this reality has been the hardest to accept. With a good year of praying about it, long prayer sessions, and a lot of "heart-tugging" from the Holy Spirit, I've made the decision to go back home to Turlock after I graduate. God hasn't given me this big "sign" or reason to go home except for the mere fact and feeling that I miss home, I love home, I have amazing friends there, and my family's support. Who could ask for a better reason right? Pride, is what holds me back from sharing as to why I want to go home, or even telling people generally. I don't have a job up there, I AM going to live back home with my parents, and it's going to be hard to adjust. I know all of these things. What I've learned through many amazing conversations, prayer times, and crying, is that God may not have the reason for me going home clear just yet. That is what I pray for everyday though, for clarity. "Lord please make it abundantly clear if You want me to go home or not." And now I've come to the point in my prayer time where I say,"Lord, I want to go home, if you don't want me there, show me." Which is an extemely hard prayer to pray, because I DO want to go home :). I know this is alot to say in one post, but it's constantly on my heart, and I wanted to share it with everyone. God has not made it clear as to why He's put it on my heart to go back home, but I'll keep praying that He shows me, and I know He will.
Turlock bound in about a month, and I am feeling excited, scared, overwhelmed, and extremely blessed that I can still call it Home.
Blessings to you all*
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Now coming to the exciting reality of graduation. Trust me, it's exciting to think about being all done with school. But, I have been in constant prayer about what to do afterward, where to go?
God has been so good to put people in my life to "push" me towards a decision that God wanted me to make in the first place. I am very influenced by the people I love, and their input is extremely important to me. To some people that may seem irresponsible, or maybe just not a good idea. But it's who I am. The reason why I think this decision is so hard is because it is based off of no one else, but myself. Yes, it will affect some people's lives in a minor way, but primarily it will only affect me. And this reality has been the hardest to accept. With a good year of praying about it, long prayer sessions, and a lot of "heart-tugging" from the Holy Spirit, I've made the decision to go back home to Turlock after I graduate. God hasn't given me this big "sign" or reason to go home except for the mere fact and feeling that I miss home, I love home, I have amazing friends there, and my family's support. Who could ask for a better reason right? Pride, is what holds me back from sharing as to why I want to go home, or even telling people generally. I don't have a job up there, I AM going to live back home with my parents, and it's going to be hard to adjust. I know all of these things. What I've learned through many amazing conversations, prayer times, and crying, is that God may not have the reason for me going home clear just yet. That is what I pray for everyday though, for clarity. "Lord please make it abundantly clear if You want me to go home or not." And now I've come to the point in my prayer time where I say,"Lord, I want to go home, if you don't want me there, show me." Which is an extemely hard prayer to pray, because I DO want to go home :). I know this is alot to say in one post, but it's constantly on my heart, and I wanted to share it with everyone. God has not made it clear as to why He's put it on my heart to go back home, but I'll keep praying that He shows me, and I know He will.
Turlock bound in about a month, and I am feeling excited, scared, overwhelmed, and extremely blessed that I can still call it Home.
Blessings to you all*
